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Been watching some Shaw Brothers movies. Nothing like an obviously fake sword. Strangely, I can watch them even though I cannot stand fake, whether it is weapons or obviously staged fight scenes.On to the good stuff. 

GOOD STUFF AHEAD-----> )

phililen3: (Default)

Have been away for the holidays and now I am back.
First thing that I came across on LJ was GACKT getting married and having a baby. I was genuinely shocked as he had said that he was not going to be going through that again. But the picture of hiim with a baby is just toooo good. YEP, I was fooled. UGH.
Not really a Monday but we had to follow the Monday timetable yesterday, so here we go:


JACK (age 3)
Was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister... After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5)
Asked her Granny how old she was.. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'

STEVEN (age 3)
Hugged and kissed his Mom good night 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4)
Had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4)
was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough..'

DJ (age 4)
Stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'


CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried when his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'


MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'


TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

phililen3: (Default)
HOSPITAL BILL

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store
clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency
open heart bypass surgery...

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the
Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard
loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay
for his treatment.

"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

He replied, "No money in the bank."

Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the
irritated nun.

He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns
are married to God."

The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law." 
 
phililen3: (Default)
This KILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I was doing research for my Politics essay on what if Vampires took over the world and came across this bit of hilarious...

for those interested on a funny politics on what if Zombies tried to take over the world

phililen3: (Default)

JUST JOKES )Read more... )Read more... )
Read more... )just jokes )

from my boyfriend, where he gets these, I have no idea


i seem to have lost the ability to make an LJCut....

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